THIS JUST SUCKS... THIS TOTALLY SUCKS... i dont know what to do.. i have no idea... DEAR LORD CAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME?... im a confused person when judgement day came... im stood rooted in expectation and hopes... i stood rooted thinking that the cliche phrase "with evey dark cloud there is a silver lining" would somehow happen to me... WELL IT DIDNT... i was left with dark clouds hovering all all around... i just couldnt believe... couldnt believe this was happening to me... what did i do wrong ?... what did i fail in?... the thoughts hovered and faded... but emotion eventually set in when i heard regina talking to the class.. when i heard mr tan comfort us and the teachers curiously looking over to see who were the "unlucky ones"...

music was always my comfort for any situation.. but this time it totally didnt help... i listened in a daze.. what to say to my family... what to say to my friends... what to say to my siblings... am i a good example at all?...i hate being compared...and the traditional fear filled me... this was it... this had my name writen all over it.. and i knew throughout the year... the things that happenened.. that this isnt going to be a fairy tale ending...

i can honestly tell you im confused..wavering between staying here in where i feel is home... or leaving and going into untested poly grouds?... i feel a strong urge for both... im wavering in the middle... i dont know what to do... retaining.... it doesnt sound good.. but ive got the benefit of doing this all over again... and do it well....

IM SORRY... sorry 1s18 that i cannot be there for you all and be your class rep every again... sorry mum and dad.. i dissapointed you all the most... sorry my dear friends esp marcus who studied with me and had so much faith... i really woke up too late... sorry all who prayed for me and was with me through this promo period.. amos steph jm sy feli.. all the church ppl... i dissapointed myself....the hopes and expectations.... i played with fire and i didnt wear no protective gear...

I guess in life.. all you need to do is move and dont make a fuss about whats already done... because like kid rock says... "LET THIS ROLLERCOASTER RIDE ON, COS WE'RE STILL GONNA HAVE A GOOD TIME"... i really had a great and memeorable j1 year... and the friends i made are really amazing... i had so much fun and the memories and forever etched in this mind...

I NEED YOU DEARLY LORD... NEED YOUR GUIDING HAND... I KNOW IVE BEEN FAR... I KNOW I HAVE... BUT IM WILLING TO CHANGE.. BECAUSE I WANT TO BE BY YOUR SIDE...