Sometimes I just wonder... if i'm too lazy to make a change or is the laziness forcing me to forsake the things i really want inside and do what i feel, is laziness overpowering me?... I mean the common test was a complete failure and I know it was a 100 percent my fault for not studying and being so relaxed in one of the toughest papers ive ever taken... I dont seem to find the urgency, drive and motivation to do things.. sure things are easier said than done and everytime i find myself caught in this trap... My aim is to go to the university and hopefully find a job i love and is passionate in for the rest of my life and lead a comfortable lifestyle... but right now, if i dont put the effort, nothing will come out... I know the principal has told us in the principals rally that retainees are slower learners but i bed to differ, we just dont have the inherent hardworking capabilities and procrastinate more than others... I better make a change at least for once in my life...

I cherish those j1 times, i cherish the sp times... the time when we all could take a back seat take a chill pill and still do well.. but times are different now... I know my parents would be dissapointed in me if i tell them my results... and for me telling myself that i'll never dissapoint my parents again... its saddening looking at the number of U's I have... the times have changed and the need to change whats bugging me for ages.. But i really in my innermost desire still want to hang out with the dearest friends I have and chill the day away... But i always ask myself, who am I doing this for... For God and for the parents i care about a lot...

GOD PLEASE GRANT ME WITH THE STRENGTH..


"We did not know what to make of her. In our minds we tried to pin her to a corkboard like a butterfly but the pin merely went through and away she flew."

A quote i stumbled upon on flickr that reminded me very much of you.. how you loved nature, the birds the bees and the butterflies in between... you were different, we once were different... I just hope my imagination turns to reality... won't it?

TILL ANOTHER DAY PEOPLE, GOD BLESS AND KEEP ON SMILING
-The road is long but i have to carry on in the Lord's grace and mercy-